When “Good Enough” Never Feels Enough

For many neurodivergent individuals, perfectionism can feel like both armor and weight. On the outside, it might look like a strong work ethic, attention to detail, or high achievement. But internally, it often comes with a constant hum of anxiety: a fear of making mistakes, getting it wrong, or simply not being “enough.”

This internal pressure often creates a cycle that feels impossible to break—a “good enough never enough” mindset that leaves little room for rest, flexibility, or self-compassion. This kind of perfectionism isn’t about vanity or overconfidence. It’s often rooted in lived experience—years of feeling misunderstood, judged, or dismissed. It can stem from the need to mask or overcompensate in environments that aren’t designed with your brain in mind. Over time, perfectionism can become a way to try to stay safe: “If I just get it perfect, maybe I won’t be rejected, criticized, or overlooked.”

But here’s the thing—perfectionism can also be deeply isolating. It can make starting tasks feel overwhelming. It can make finishing them feel impossible. It can steal joy from the things that used to feel creative or fun, replacing curiosity with fear and self-criticism.

When Executive Dysfunction Joins the Party

Things get even more complex when perfectionism shows up alongside executive dysfunction. You might have big ideas, strong values, and a clear vision for how you want something to go—but find yourself struggling to initiate, prioritize, or follow through. You might spend hours planning or revising in your head but feel frozen when it comes time to begin.

This gap between internal expectations and external output can feel crushing. You know what you want to do. You may even know how to do it. But your brain isn’t cooperating—and that disconnect can lead to shame, frustration, or burnout.

It’s not laziness. It’s not a lack of motivation. It’s a nervous system trying to navigate a world that often demands more than it gives back.

Redefining What Success Means

So what helps? It’s not about “lowering your standards” in a dismissive way. Instead, it’s about learning to redefine success on your own terms.

• Maybe success means starting the task, even if you don’t finish it in one sitting.

• Maybe success looks like choosing rest, not because you gave up, but because your energy matters.

• Maybe success is making space for trial and error, for learning through mistakes, for being human.

“Done is better than perfect” isn’t a cop-out—it can be a radical act of self-compassion. Especially in a culture that rewards productivity over presence, choosing to value process over performance is an act of reclaiming your worth.

You Deserve to Be Enough—Right Now

Perfectionism tells you that you're only worthy when you're at your best. But real healing happens when you begin to believe that you are enough even when you’re struggling. You are enough when the email is short. When the art is messy. When the words don’t come out right. You are enough when the plan changes. When you forget. When you fall behind.

You don’t need to perform your worth. You already have it.

At our practice, we understand how perfectionism can take root in neurodivergent lives—and how hard it can be to let go of. If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Therapy can offer a space to unpack these patterns, build self-trust, and create definitions of success that actually feel sustainable and affirming.

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Disclaimer: This blog is for educational purposes only, is not a substitute for mental‑health treatment, and does not establish a therapist–client relationship. If you need personalized support, please consult a licensed mental‑health professional in your area. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (U.S.) or your local emergency number.