I Thought I Was Lazy: Unlearning Internalized Ableism and Neurodivergence

For many neurodivergent people, the story starts the same way: “I always thought I was just lazy.”

Maybe you struggled to start tasks, lost track of time, or felt completely drained by things other people seemed to handle effortlessly. And when those around you didn’t understand your experience, you may have started believing them—or blaming yourself. This quiet self-blame has a name: internalized ableism.

What Is Internalized Ableism and Neurodivergence?

Internalized ableism happens when we absorb society’s harmful messages about productivity, worth, and what “normal” functioning should look like. Over time, we may start to see our differences not as differences—but as failures. You might hear this in your inner voice:

• “Why can’t I just get it together?”

• “I’m so disorganized—what’s wrong with me?”

• “Everyone else can do this. Why is it so hard for me?”

But these aren’t personal flaws. They’re often signs that your brain works differently—and that the world wasn’t designed with your needs in mind.

You Weren’t Lazy—You Were Unsupported

If you’re autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent, what looks like procrastination may actually be:

• Executive dysfunction

• Sensory overload

• Task initiation difficulty

• Burnout

• Perfectionism rooted in fear of rejection

Reframing these experiences through a neurodiversity-affirming lens can be life-changing. It helps you replace self-judgment with self-understanding—and opens the door to finding strategies that work for you.

By naming internalized ableism and neurodivergence for what they are, we can begin to reclaim our worth—not as something to be earned through productivity, but something we inherently deserve.

Letting Go of the “Lazy” Label

Unlearning internalized ableism is a process. Here are a few ways to begin:

• Notice your self-talk. Would you speak to a friend that way?

• Learn how your brain works. Education can turn shame into empowerment.

• Experiment without pressure. Try supportive tools like body doubling, visual timers, or sensory breaks.

• Surround yourself with affirming voices. Seek spaces and professionals that validate neurodivergent experiences.

You are not broken. You’re not lazy. You are worthy of compassion, support, and systems that meet you where you are.

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Disclaimer:  This blog is for educational purposes only, is not a substitute for mental‑health treatment, and does not establish a therapist–client relationship. If you need personalized support, please consult a licensed mental‑health professional in your area. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (U.S.) or your local emergency number.